As I took my oldest into town the other morning, I asked him how he was doing. He answered like he always does, “I’m doing good.” That got me to thinking. Do I wake up thinking “I’m doing good?” The answer is no.
The simple fact is, and this is something that most people don’t understand, that dealing with brain-based health issues is much different from healing. Those who struggle with anxiety or depression spend most of their time in DEALING and not healing. Why is this? The answer is kind of complicated and without going into a lot of detail about how the brain works when you deal with these issues, I want to make it a bit easier for others to understand.
In most cases, people who suffer with anxiety and/or depression spend a large part of their lives in the fight or flight scenario. When we experience our symptoms. we either want to fight back or flee the situation. It can and does become almost an automatic reflection. We don’t have the time to think. We just do.
This is actually helpful in the beginning because it helps us to survive our mental state. You just purely react and you don’t think about what you are or are not doing. You don’t think about the fear, the emotions, or frustrations. It’s honestly a blessing from God, as it initially protects us from what we perceive as a threat.
Unfortunately though, if we just keep on “dealing” with our anxiety and/or depression, we enter this awful cycle. We go round and around again feeling the same awful way. We don’t address the trigger. The trigger that is actually causing us to feel that anxiety in the pit of our stomach or the feeling of depression and lack of energy to even get out of bed. How do I know this? Because I’ve experienced the awful tragedy of this loop.
The loop, for me, has caused me to have suicidal ideations. I usually am unable to think or process. It causes me to cope in unhealthy manners. I stay stuck. I always thought that dealing was the hard part of having brain-based health matters.
It’s actually a big fat lie that we have told ourselves or that others have led us to believe. Healing…actual healing is much more difficult. Why? For many reasons.
The biggest reasons are that we have to confront our triggers and because it is a choice. Hear me loudly…healing is a choice. It, by no means, is an easy choice. It’s not for the faint of heart or for the timid. I know this because I make that CHOICE every single day.
Some days, I fail miserably. When I do, it feels like I am falling down the cliff of a mountain. I try to gain traction so that I don’t go all the way down the mountain. But sometimes I just lack the wherewithal or energy to stop. Before I know it, I am back in the same old unhealthy coping patterns.
However, there is hope, not only for me but for you too. I spent countless years trying to get a handle on it all. Truth be told though, all those times, I wasn’t willing to do the work.
I spent over seven years, doing tough, tough work. I made the CHOICE that I wanted better for myself.
Staring at my triggers in the face was super scary. Even in penning this, I can feel some anxiety brewing in my stomach. Why? Because, by no means, have I mastered this thing we call “healing.”
Simply put…I am active in my journey towards healing. I may never “master” it here on planet Earth. However, and here is the key…I choose HOPE over fear.
Are you ready to make that CHOICE? Let me be the first to say…YOU deserve it.
Still drinking my coffee hot and dark. Here’s to a grand size cup of HOPE!
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